SUPPORT IMAGERY:

Where are our images?

I would love to show you pictures but to avoid some pointless issues about copyrights and all that, you will just have to go the site and see them for yourself.

Now you don’t have to do that for Christ’s sake! If you parents are really not with it you could drink right in front of them with out them knowing. Well, assuming you don’t burp like an ass-head so they can smell the high-life you are enjoying (idiot). If you haven’t been caught drinking by your parents yet … make sure to schedule some time to do it. It is better to make sure you get caught when you know you have some time to kill. Chances are they will ground you and lock you in the basement or shed until they remember they started drinking much younger than you.

In truth I don’t get hyped up about products like this, promising you the world then giving you nothing, because they never pan out. Like those scented candle banks I invested in. They don’t tell you not to burn them. You melt the candle and the safe is exposed and no longer a secret (not one of my brightest moments but what can I say?). No these bad boys are the real McCoy. They give you everything and a bag a chips (not really but that would be sweet, especially barbeque. I love barbeque).

Instructions:
Here’s the tricky part. You have to go buy can beer and slide the can into the cleverly disguised slip that makes your beer look like an over-marketed soda. How perfect is that?! Holy shit! I don’t know if I am more pissed about not marketing the idea when I would cut the top off a coke can and slide my Keystone into it (try it, it works; Coors’ silver bullets work too) or if I am more pissed that they didn’t have these when I was just starting out.

Now for those of you who are clever enough to see (this assumes you clicked on the link above or enlarged the picture of them), they don’t say the right name on the can. Of course not! Don’t be so foolish to think they made drinking in public that easy for you; they would have all kinds of copy right issues and red tape. So to avoid it they made up some names and slapped them on there for good measure. This brings me to my next point. Don’t test these out at close range on an Officer of the Law. Chances are that uniform is strapped so tight they are looking for any reason to Rodney King your ass in front of your friends. The fake can won’t fool then and they will smell the boot-n-rally you pulled a few minutes earlier behind your buddies house.

Hints and Tips:
- These things offer nothing to the beer drinker outside of the clever disguise so don’t use unless necessary.
- Everyone outside shouldn’t have a different type. Cops are in on this trick so they will notice that. Make sure you have multiples of each to make it look like you are pulling these cans of “soda” from the fridge.
- Don’t put the thing on in front of the person or persons you are trying to fool. Doing so proves you are a disgrace to life or you are too drunk to keep drinking.
- Remember to cover the name with your hand while enjoying your soda (Diet Pipsi, Dr. Papper, or 7 OP) in crowded areas. Helps reduce the chances of getting caught by a casual observer.

All in all, these little gems aren’t all together marvels but in no way should they be denied their place among the worthy. Remember to drink safe and leave money somewhere so your friends can bail you out of jail for drinking in public. Oh yeah, don’t drink under aged … kids drinking makes you dumb until you are 21 then it helps you date!