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| J.W. Prepps
& Co. LTD. 729 Park Ave. Rochester NY, 14607 (behind Abbott's Custard) |
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December 7, 2003
This is going to be something a little new for Modern Marvels. We aren't
just showcasing one marvel this time. We are showcases several smaller
marvels that people shouldn't live without but probably do. It really
is just to be in line with all the other websites out there trying to
give you gift giving ideas. If you do give these as gifts ... you have
to email us a picture of the person gettting it and then using it!
The Butt-Face Towel
 We
start it off with the ultimate in lazy household items. Yes this exists
and they are quite popular with nerds and old people. This little gem
is not only a very nice towel but is cleverly marked and colored to make
sure you dry off the right parts of the body with the right side of the
towel (they even wrote what goes where for
you people who can't figure it out). Now beyond the cleverness
of it all, you have to wonder how many people buy this item because they
fear they can’t clean their backend sufficiently enough to not
need a brown towel (same concept for dark
colored underwear).
Soap Pope on a Rope
Now I am not as religious as I should be. Personally I doubt any of us
really are so this ingenious use of soap is right up our alley. Nothing
says repent like a Soap Pope on a Rope. After a good night of sinning,
it’s nice to know that the man himself is cleaning your dirty,
dirty body. (Throw in a couple Hail Mary’s
and you are good till Easter). Now go my child and do his good
work!
Head Tantalizer
Ok, this one is serious. This is one of the greatest things on the planet
(the only thing better is a Happy Ending
… if you don’t know ask your Dad). The Head Trip Head
Tantalizer is one step away from great foreplay. I don’t what it
is about this little gadget but it is fantastic. I realize it looks like
the crane from that stuffed animal game at the arcade but it is wonderful.
Get your man or your woman to use this on your fat head and voila you
are sexed up and ready to go. Try it out, you will agree.
Glow in the Dark Toilet Seat
This has to be one of my favorites and if I had a second bathroom, this
would be in there. The Glow in the Dark Toilet Seat is probably one of
the greatest thing since that crazy glue commercial where the midget
is hanging off an I beam. This is great for that late night trek to the
toilet or after a long night of shots and beers. I can’t stress
the importance of getting stuff into the toilet versus having to pick
or wipe it up the next day. If you can’t hit the pot with a glow
in the dark seat, then you weren’t meant to hit it.
Card Trick Book
I am always a big supporter of people reading. I am not talking about
everyone going out and picking up War and Peace (it’s
a really, really long book … makes a great doorstop). I
think you should read but if you are going to read it’s all about
what you read. So here is a must have for all you single ugly guys out
there. Nothing says bad pick up line like an impromptu card trick. Actually
some of you pretty boys should learn this too (don’t
deny it, I have heard you talk to the ladies … some of you have
nothing going on upstairs). What I will warn you about is that
reading this book doesn’t make you an expert it takes practice.
You will also need a deck of cards (not the
nudey cards either).
Anna Kournikova Calendar
Saving the best for last. Yes, this is it, the best of the best. I can’t
make her a modern marvel without getting sued but I can give props to
her body of work. Guys, you know what I am talking about. All those
nights watching Tennis with your girlfriend … we were all winning
on those nights. Now she has left Tennis behind her and is now doing
what we all wanted her to do in the first place … model (nude
scenes are next, keep praying guys). Now you girls, you should like
her but if you don’t your boyfriend does even if they say they
don’t. So at least you know what to get him for Christmas.
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